Did anyone else hear about this? I guess there’s some dude that’s been muff stuffin’ down in Tennessee and now has something like 30 kids. According to the LA Times, this extremely virile man, a one Desmond Hatchett, has set a Knoxville record. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me; this is setting a record? Does that mean there were so many other dudes with 29 kids down in Knox County that it took the Roman warrior sperm of Mr. Hatchett to make make it clear who’s the biggest fucking idiot in Tennessee?
I have to admit though, I don’t know what I’m more impressed about, the fact our record breaker found 11 women worth having sex with in Tennessee, or the fact that he’s not related to any of them. The man is a true inspiration to all of us. I never thought someone who works a minimum wage job could pull so much ass. What was I thinking; working white collar and wearing condoms. My game is weak. But enough of singing his praise, he’s clearly got enough willing mouths for that one.
I am a little curious how something of this nature happens. All that pot back in college hasn’t done much for my math skills but I think I still can handle basic arithmetic. Let’s see, add 12 idiots, subtract their clothes, divide their legs and let them multiply.
No really, a couple of kids with the first woman I understand. Sure, things fizzle and he has a couple more with a new lady. OK. Even with the third family, I might cast a wondering glance but I’m not passing any serious judgement. You can even justify a handful on some wild acid and whiskey filled weekends in your mid 20’s. But by the time he’s sausage stuffing the 8th and 9th women and having multiple kids with them, you have to ask yourself, have these women lost their fucking minds?! What the hell are they thinking, inviting this guy back like they’ve each got a punch card and they’re just one kid away from a free toaster.
And now he’s asking for help with his child support. Shit, he should be asking someone to make him flashcards, help him learn all his kids names. I mean, I do feel bad for the kids, since there’s a pretty good chance their lives will suck.
On the plus side they’re famous for a couple of days. That’s gotta be worth at least $1.49.